HEMORRHOIDS

The manager at the bookshop told me, that whilst it is permissible to use the bathroom, I spend too long and am too frequently in. Not only that but another member of staff had recently reported to her the same complaint. Of course it concerned me that my time in the bathroom would be an issue especially when I wasn't there. If I hadn't been taken so by surprise by the observation I would have next asked how long is permissible for a sitting/standing and how many times in one shift? Then my thoughts turned the other member of staff who would have had to pull the manager aside before broaching the subject of my time spent in the bathroom.

So if you're the sort of person at work who would stand outside the toilet door with a stopwatch I assume you're also the sort of person who might snoop on someone via the internet and if this is the case I compose this poem for you:

I'VE GOT HEMORRHOIDS



From Wikipedia (to save you the trouble)

Hemorrhoids are part of the human anatomy of the anal canal. They become pathological or piles[1] when swollen or inflamed. In their physiological state they act as cushions composed of arterio-venous channels and connective tissue that aid the passage of stool. The symptoms of pathological hemorrhoids depend on the type present. Internal hemorrhoids usually present with painless rectal bleeding while external hemorrhoids present with pain in the area of the anus.

Recommended treatment consists of increasing fiber intake, oral fluids to maintain hydration, NSAID analgesics, sitz baths, and rest. Surgery is reserved for those who fail to improve following these measures.